31 May 2011

朋友XY

朋友X和朋友Y是一對夫婦,最近有些問題。其實也不是最近,我以前也聽聞過,只是最近又聽到。問題存在了一段時間,大概以年為單位。

小王子說他們比我們那時候嚴重多,因為其中一方不覺得是一個問題。我說也真的有人不需要愛情。現在兩個人一起生活,在人前是一起行動,在家是一起吃飯一起睡覺,別人都生孩子就考慮不如生一個孩子。都市中許多人也是這樣,生活生活,談甚麼愛情呢,不覺得有問題也不出奇。

小王子說那很可惜,我說他們比我們那時候嚴重是因為一方愛另一方不如我愛他那樣。真的很愛一個人,在兩人的狀況到了這地步,會試著做能做的事情,會探討是否有可以改變的地方,會聽別人的話看自己怎樣。

結果會是如何,不知道,但當然是希望能有美滿的解決。

30 May 2011

Movements

Caelum is moving a lot lately, which is quite an interesting feeling. Imagine something in your tummy moving, rolling around, punching and kicking. I wouldn’t say it is one of the most interesting thing in the world but sometimes I would just sit there try to feel his movement and enjoy the funny moments. He loves moving at night, and sometimes, midnight. However it’s not limited to night time. Sometimes when I am at work, having meeting with Joe or so, Caelum seems to be listening to the conversation and giving us responses by moving his body. I can imagine he will be an active and naughty boy.
I think I may as well be gaining weight too fast. Better start eating less junk and more healthy food. Naughty mama.

雙親生日

昨日老爸生日,今日老媽生日。昨夜已於茶樓與姑姐姑丈一家一起慶祝了。靠老爸老媽的面,甜點非常多。蛋糕、壽包、芒果布丁和合桃糊湯圓,很飽,太飽。我實是不該吃那麼多甜點,但有東西放在面前1不吃是不禮貌的,唯有「難為」地全吃下了。

家中父母雖然日漸老邁卻沒有變得難服侍,反而越來越「易話為」,沒要求,沒給我壓力,會自找娛樂,獨立又不用我廢心,還會照顧我大小事情,我算是非常幸福甚至有點寵壞呢。

相信愛情

某朋友facebook上說:「朋友说她已经不相信爱情了,不过还需要爱情,所以要找一个可以生活的人,也应该找一些带给爱情感觉的人,但绝不可能是同一个人可以满足的。為什麼兩者不能是同一人呢。可能嗎?」

先不要太深究結尾這個問題,有些根本的概念令我有點「頭痕」:甚麼是相信愛情又甚麼是不相信愛情?

如果我說「相信耶穌」(我當然也真的是相信耶穌),背後包含了整個福音,四個字包含了神的愛、罪與救贖、基督的血的潔淨、人與神和好等等等等一系列連帶的事情,缺一不可。

如果我說「相信公平」(這個我就真的不大相信),那大概意思是「相信這個世界有公平,人人能夠得到某一定程度同等的對待」。當然程度去到甚麼為之公平,各人大概有不同準則。這也有點臨近模糊。

如果我說「相信金錢」,那可能是說「相信擁有金錢能做很多事情,萬事都可易解決,擁有越多能力越大、越容易達到目標」。很多人也相信金錢,崇拜與否則是另一個問題。

要說「相信愛情」,我真的有點為難。怎樣為之相信愛情呢?一個相信愛情的人到底會懷著甚麼信念?而一個不相信愛情的人又如何?

如果我說不相信耶穌,但需要耶穌,矛盾嗎?大概行不通。

如果我說不相信公平,但需要公平。。。這大概可理解為「不相信世界有公平,但需要別人公平對待我」,也可以理解為「不相信世界有公平,但覺得世界需要有公平」。前者純粹自私,後者可能帶點憤慨又明顯認為不可能。

如果我說不相信金錢,但需要金錢,那肯定某程度是自欺欺人,先是懶清高,後又向現實致敬。

所謂「相信愛情」,到底是「相信世界上有擁有愛情情懷的人」,還是「相信世界上有相戀的人」,「相信世界上有相戀又幸福的人」,還是「相信有自己會愛上的人」,還是「相信有會帶給自己愛情感覺的人」,還是「相信會有和自己相戀的人」,還是「相信會有和自己相戀又相戀得幸福的人」,還是以上皆是,還是以上皆否?

如果「相信愛情」是「相信世界上有相戀又幸福的人」,那應該不難相信吧?

如果「相信愛情」是「相信會有和自己相戀又相戀得幸福的人」,那不相信也不出奇。只是這個相信竟是這樣狹隘的,這樣個人主義的,這樣自私的。當然,也不要緊,就看作是個人化的信念。

如果是這樣的話,那不相信會有和自己相戀又相戀得幸福的人,卻又需要這樣的人,那不是像不相信公平一樣,只能流於憤慨的層次,說甚麼也多餘嗎?那後半段「所以要找一个可以生活的人,也应该找一些带给爱情感觉的人,但绝不可能是同一个人可以满足的。」是矛盾的廢話。

或者說這話的人所謂的「相信愛情」在不同時刻有不同意義:雖然不相信能找到和他/她相戀又幸福的人,但又能在某些人身上找到能帶給他/她愛情感覺的人。為甚麼絕對不可能是同一個人呢?那大概也只能是很個人很狹隘的概念吧。因為外邊一定有相戀又幸福又帶給對方戀愛感覺的人。

所以所謂的絕對,應該只是在他/她身上而已。還是亦舒那句:「呵人們愛的是一些人,與之結婚生子,又是另一些人。」

當然可能是同一人了,有沒有在閣下身上發生,是另一回事。

24 May 2011

無頭緒

坐著,想了許久,想不出要說甚麼。通常別人想不出甚麼的話大概不寫網誌,我卻是千思萬緒,抽不出一條線來,還要在此敷衍自己幾句。

最近我常夢到一個人。那是誰對大家而言一點也不重要。只是,幾晚夢見一個人嘛,或多或少,都惹起我自己的關注。

有時有點茫然。

看到我很想觸摸的,總禁不住去觸摸一下。給我一種無可取替的安全感。總有我很想抓住的,總有我很想靠近的,總有我碰到就著迷的,總有我很想依賴的。

有時有點不知所措。

對某些人永遠比其他人寬容,因為怕被某些人討厭,也怕被捨棄。怕自己是可扔掉可取替之物,怕被珍惜得不夠。於是寧願不放手,就是有甚麼不高興,也控制不了的寬容對待。只是太喜歡,沒有了矜持。

有時有點羞愧。

開心不開心,我介意的絕對不只這些。最好能高調地刺探那靈魂裡的感情,無論是不是一發不可收拾的也好。或者會苦了所有的,或者萬不該揭示真相。所以我們還是原封不動,看似無害的樣子。

有時有點矛盾。

某些眼睛會說話。也可能是我一廂情願它們是在說話,帶些震撼力,叫人欲罷不能。時而看戲,看到會說話的眼睛,想起我看過的眼睛。或者我們都太入戲,忘了現實。

有時有點感傷。

22 May 2011

太恐怖

討論起有點尷尬但很現實的問題。

「我唔理呀,你幫佢洗呀,都唔知點洗,有舊嘢奇奇怪怪咁!」
「無仲奇怪呀!」
「無咪係女仔囉!無我識洗呀!」
「洗都唔難呀,大個啲仲難。」
「係囉!到十幾歲嗰時點丫?!」
「咩點呀?」
「點解張床單咁架!」
「洗囉!好自然架喎。。。」
「哎呀,好恐怖呀。。。好恐怖呀。。。好恐怖呀。。。睇鹹嘢點算丫?!」
「咪睇囉。」
「十幾歲唔可以睇鹹嘢!」
「仲要打XX添呀!」
「吓!你要教佢打XX架?!唔駛教架下話!」
「基本上係本能嚟嘅。。。」
「打XX。。。哎唔准打XX呀!哎好恐怖呀。。。好恐怖呀。。。太恐怖喇。。。」

全晚充斥著非常現實的恐怖感。。。

Blossom

Desires can blossom into flowers, which are too attractive to resist and too dangerous to touch. Temptations, all poisonous, no exception. No one can explain why that is the poison but all can be told is the eyes and mind cannot ignore the existence. Reflection in the eyes shows the deepest desire of the mind. The blossomed flower. Leave it and burn in lustful flame, or touch it and feel the sinful pain. The question has been answered, but the mind yet to be cleared.

At least, keeping the object in the eyes denote some form of capturing and possessing.

21 May 2011

Discovery

No matter what, I am glad that I've found someone who loves me so much. I am one lucky girl on this planet. Thousands of people keep finding and losing a lover yet I have already found one. Sometimes, I hate myself for not appreciating this enough. It's truly a blessing, although I have to and will have to face some difficulties because of this blessing, it really worths. I have never felt this so real and sincerely before. Since he's not a guy that would read my blog it's obvious that I am not writing this to please him. I have really experienced this. No matter how bad or hard things can be, at least I have someone who completely trust me and love me.

I am no longer alone. I know I am no longer alone. And this time, it's true. I can now admit and accept that I am being loved.

In unhappiness I have found the best and it is satisfying, I should be happy.

20 May 2011

做蓉兒不是容易的事

及後,我想到的只有一樣。

為了靖哥哥,是小妖女也無妨。

還盼生的像襄兒,不像芙兒,那就好了。

18 May 2011

Unhappy

I am not happy. Not happy at all. And I can't do much to make myself happy. It's very annoying. I am very very annoyed. Man. I hate this whole thing. I know I have to be happy for Caelum to be happy and grow well, but this whole thing is bugging me so much.

17 May 2011

是但

- 突然間諗起水嶋食cream puff個樣,好靚仔。

- Caelum永遠都係等王子瞓咗或者出咗門口先喺咁郁,擺明同佢老媽子一樣專搞對抗,係要玩嘢。

- 琴晚瞓得好,希望今晚都瞓得好。

- 坦白講,我都幾proud of我個丙+。

Ephemeris graviditis

Finally I have merged Ephemeris graviditis with this blog, yeah~ so the diary about Caelum would be  here as well. :)

16 May 2011

Something there, nothing there

Laputa

醒了,未破曉,卻又睡不回去。無意間竟想起了Laputa,可能因為早兩晚重看了Totoro。其實對Totoro我一直不特別感興趣,大概童真不夠。對森林的主人不是不喜歡,只是沒有不能取代的好感而已。

說回Laputa,我最愛的一齣。浪漫與夢想、權力與貪婪、好壞的模糊介點、強盛卻淒涼的境況。機械人們一句話也沒說,那生存感卻不比隨早晨樂聲飛翔的鴿子低,使人投注的感情足以認定它們的結束是死亡而非僅是停止活動 - 我絕對有為它們的生命而哭。再加上Laputa的崩解,親手埋葬對方的野心與自己的夢,看著那生命的樹由中央開始解體,未看過哪會想像到中心部分還會剩下,唯一能動的機械人和鳥兒也繼續和睦和諧?沒有為那毀滅性的破碎而感傷的人,或者是白看了Laputa。

而Pazu這樣能帶你出走、保護你、能使你不加思索就依賴的男孩子,世上有幾多個?不浪漫就假。連為鬥肌肉而爆裂衣服的男仕們與不要為丈夫縫補的太太、抱著生存的Sheeta感慨著失去的辮子的賊媽媽,都是傻氣的浪漫。叫我這樣的人不愛上Laputa是不可能的吧。看我把細節都記得那樣清楚,就知有多感動。

剛才Caelum不斷打我,大概是催我繼續睡覺。唯有再努力睡回去了。

晚安,Laputa。

15 May 2011

扭計

我想扭計。我唔想瞓覺,淨係想扭計。想搞啲小破壞,想發脾氣,想發爛渣,想大吵大鬧,但係又唔知自己想點,只係想扭計。

有時見到啲阿爸阿媽,自己個細路扭計時話佢係因為咁因為咁,我覺得佢地好勁,因為我相信個細路都未必知自己想點。同時我又覺得佢地可能諗多咗,話唔定個細路同我一樣,純粹想扭計。

唔同嘅係佢就真係可以扭,我就得個諗字。因為,據說我係大人。

我都想掟下嘢,嘈兩下,唔高興呀咁。

我都想扭計。

14 May 2011

無心插柳

我唔知一個有好多優點嘅女仔點樣可以肯定一個男人好愛自己,但如果係一個好似我呢啲多缺點到近乎無優點嘅女仔,而個男人竟然會講「如果個仔第時搵個老婆好似妳咁都幾好」,我諗都可以幾肯定呢個男人好愛自己,甚至近乎盲目嘅地步。

如果個仔搵個老婆好似我咁,大概我會覺得不敢恭維。

都幾浪漫。

怠惰

最近我個腦有啲閉塞,除咗做嘢嗰時依然龍精虎猛,唔做嘢時乜都諗唔倒。你話啲人有細路就全副心神擺喺個細路身上,我又唔係啲咁嘅人。只不過想睇書又無心情,戲又想睇唔想放隻DVD入去,連打機都覺得悶。一要我諗啲嘢就心情欠佳,打多隻中文字都無靈感,但係又唔見英文好喎。純粹係懶到出汁。如果哩個世界有怠惰期,咁我就處於哩個時期。你諗下連粉都唔搽就走出街,我喎,你話怠惰得幾惡劣。

其實我想出去行下,我嘅意思唔係去Sylvia Park或者Botany,而係去下郊遊呀野餐呀燒吓嘢食之類。無得跑跑跳跳,個人好似悶咗五成,須知本身已經好悶。我淨係想一班人出去玩下,唔好成日喺屋企呀行街呀飲咖啡呀咁。就算出去玩係睇人地跑下跳下都好。總之,我想喺室外。

仲有,依家,哩一刻,我肚餓。。。又唔係好肚餓嘅,但係餓囉!雖然而家先六點。幾時先返嚟同我食飯呀?

Puer vel puella

After knowing it's going to be Caelum not Caeli, I have some very complicated feelings, and heaps of thinking around human social interactions - no it has nothing to do with what happened in the previous post, although that worries me too. Nevertheless there are more worries and considerations happening in my head. I have so many "reasons" favouring a puella over a puer, yet now I have to think carefully how to resolve these. Actually I should have started thinking about these earlier since from the very beginning I kind of know a puer is what I am getting and honestly I am happy about that too, just have to resolve some complicated feelings.

Let me list out my worries first, forget about being logical or rational:
1. Knowing the family (not my side) would prefer a puer and be happier with a puer, my rebellious nature hates the fact that they will love one more. So I wanted a puella.
2. I do not know how to deal with mentula pueri. This is an organ that I don't have! I feel weird about the fact that I will have to wash and examine the growth of it in the future. Also, docere filium meum de mentula eius. One of the weirdest thing ever.
3. It maybe fine if there's only one, but if there's a second and the second is not a puer, I can predict illa would be unfairly treated and not as loved by some people in the family. This thought totally eliminated any thought of having a second. Yet I may as well be digging myself a hole here: if this is a puella, for similar reason I would be afraid to have a second in case that's a puer. I guess I just hate the fact that people have favouritsm for a sick stupid idea about carrying some surname.
4. If it's a puella I can name illam nearly whatever I want. Now I have to make sure some particular one is happy about it. That person won't even care if it's a puella. Also this person won't even bother visiting us if it's a puella. Again these all make me feel sick of the whole business.
5. I hate that some people may interfere the way I teach with some really spoiling way and I know that if it's a puella they won't care that much.
6. Teaching something completely opposite is not easy. I do not know what a puer would like, what kind of books and toys and clothes. Till now all the clothes I wanted to buy are puellis. It's not about willingness, I just don't know how.

I guess in general these are what I concern.

Dia taught me one thing on how to perceive other people's favouritsm: "Then that's cream on cheese cake. It's been nicely served, Enjoy!" I like the thinking, but I still need extra steps for moving onwards using this thinking to resolve my concerns. And that, I guess I have to teach myself, with God's help.

13 May 2011

Sometimes

Sometimes, sometimes, I just don't get it. You always make it hard. Sometimes I even wonder that you only make it hard for me, since everyone says it's fine for them. Maybe once again I am too self-centred. Sometimes I am annoyed, and sometimes I am a bit angry, though this time I am just disappointed.

I thought you would value what I was thinking when I asked the question which is obviously serious and important. And I thought because you have realized the value therefore when you answered you were serious about that too. I thought you understood it's because I think you are important and I think this is important so I asked. I thought you understood I was serious. I thought you were serious too.

If it's my fault I am sorry. Sorry that I have misunderstood. Sorry that I thought you would have known it's not a question for everyone I know. Crazy that I am actually feeling quite "委屈" and cry when I had all these thoughts - I blame being pregnant, makes me stupidly easy to feel sad.

12 May 2011

Accident

I ran over a cat, very sad. I was too nervous and didn’t stop my car. Then I looked back in the mirror after a while, I saw the car after me stopped, and the driver went down to see the cat, I supposed.

It’s really sad. I never ran over any living animals.

:(

I am not sure whether I should hope that she’s dead, or I should hope she’s alive but injured. I am sure she won’t be fine because I heard the sound when m car hit her.

10 May 2011

Romanticism

Why all of a sudden talk about romanticism? It's a long story. It all started from my comment about someone's boyfriend should be a romantic person because he has kept a lizard and three turtles. Then the topic went on and a wife asked whether I think her husband is a romantic person. I said yes because he likes to do paper craft and puzzles et cetra - basically things that need to spend time and patience to do. This comment stirred up a small fight between the couple as the wife kept saying she didn't think he is a romantic person and then the husband said his wife uses other terms to define what I mean by romantic - "wasting time". Well I didn't hear what they have discussed after this because they seem to be reacting to each others and were debating. So all of us who were in the conversation pulled off and talked about something else, haha.

As a hopeless romantic I am easily satisfied by people's romantic gestures. And again, I insist romantic actions or things may not have correlation to romantic love. Romantic love relationship is only a subtype, a manifestation, a kind of romantic things. I totally appreciate people's romantic behaviours in other domains, other paradigms. Someone that is romantic may not imply his/her love relationship is a romantic one. Nevertheless, the person's romantic expressions may be undermined by the other person in a relationship. Not every one has the same idea.

Anyhow I may be a bit overly romantic to a point that is against nowadays "postmodern" way of merging romanticism, materialism and realism. I refuse to accept the money side of things to be part of the romantic measure. However I understand sometimes money is required to achieve the goal. Little-prince once bought me a very expensive bag. Money is the essential tool here, but I think it's romantic because of the symbolic meaning. It's not more romantic compare to some other things he had done that cost much less. This is not only on love relationship. Some arts required quite an extremely high cost to produce and one of the main reasons it is a piece of art is because of the no-reason cost. I dislike those too. I am not saying expensive production is the issue because some arts use high value materials in order to express the dedication (maybe to God), id est there is a meaning to its cost: then I think it's romantic.

Some of these maybe contradicting to each other, oh well, just my feelings at different times I guess. Anyway, too much for now. Should go to work.

09 May 2011

The mean look

Interestingly sometimes people misinterpret my look or action as being angry or disliking something or someone, while I am not. Nevertheless sometimes people interpret correctly, so I am not sure whether it's an issue of my facial expression or am I expressing emotions differently from others causing people to misunderstand.

Say, it's correct that I am not liking it when I refuse to talk to someone on phone (lol); but I am not disliking it when I look at someone in his/her face and eyes. I can never look into the person's eyes when I am not liking that person.

There are some other occasions in the past but these are the recent ones that I can remember. Sometimes at work I get the same thing: people think I am not liking something, but I am just too concentrated or feeling a little bit annoyed by the situations. Doesn't mean I am very unhappy about what's happening.

Must be my facial expression, too extreme. Haha!

08 May 2011

Teeth

I dreamed of losing most of my teeth again few nights ago. It's in fact quite scary, especially I always have dreams about losing my teeth. I sometimes forget they are just dreams and so in reality I doubt whether my teeth are still there or not. I need to think and examine with my tongue to make sure they are there, healthy and big. Yes, I have big teeth.

These dreams are scary, they really are. If you have never dreamt of losing teeth before, you wouldn't understand the feeling of it. Sometimes they are more realistic, say with blood; sometimes they are more surreal, like using glue to stick them back. No matter which kind they are never a pleasant experience.

I just want to dream about something else.

跟朋友聊天,我問她會有天生孩子不,她說:「那要看他有多愛我。」我聽後覺得詫異,說:「不是該看妳有多愛他嗎?」

原來如此,就算都是要愛,想法可以不同。

這喚起我記憶裡那一句「呵人們愛的是一些人,與之結婚生子,又是另一些人」。也有人生子不生子和有多愛沒干係。

又想起昨夜某人說「寧可是恐龍的糞便,也不要犧牲自己的愛情」浪漫的一句。也有人愛的與結婚生子的要是一樣的人,不會隨便找一個還算合眼緣的人舉案齊眉。

到底意難平吧。

06 May 2011

短訊

記得在某處看過,若每次傳手機短訊給某人總得不到回覆,就不要再一直犯賤地繼續傳。當時看完後我覺得有點傷感:我總是那樣的人呢,死不要臉的貼上去。總是提醒自己不要那樣,卻還是那樣。

下次。下次。

05 May 2011

有時駕車上班,會留意街燈頂上的鳥。這些鳥兒很有趣,街上有那麼多盞燈,牠們卻不分散,總是好幾隻一起站在同一燈桿上。「牠們喜歡群居吧。」我想。

如果我是鳥,我會是和其他鳥排在一起的一隻嗎?若我是其中一隻,會是少數向不同方向的一隻嗎?我想我不會,我會是跟隨大隊的一隻吧。因為我沒有膽量不同,因為我總努力和別人同化。我不夠膽自我,不夠膽特別。

Lesson learned

I have just learned a very important lesson. A friend of mine got pregnant for 9 weeks and she just had a miscarriage. She already had one child but she’s so excited for this second one. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out right. If things did go right then before the end of the year we were supposed to have three babies in the company (that’s why we have enough for a nursery room!), now I guess we will only have two. She bled on a Friday night and had to wait until Monday to get a scan, but at the end she has been bleeding so much out and it’s obvious that baby was lost. It’s really sad.
This made me realised, that I did not appreciate what I have enough. It was too easy, and everything was so smooth. It neither took us ages nor required lots of effort and preparation. I never failed on this. Deep inside I was still questioning whether this is the correct choice and sometimes, maybe not regret, but uncertain about the choice we have already made. I was not valuing this enough. I didn’t realise how precious this is. That’s why I wasn’t as excited as people around me. I have undervalued the importance and gorgeousness, undermined God’s blessing.
Sometimes my emotions come really slow, and I am yet to catch up with the excitement in my brain. Apparently delay on apprehending how real this really is not only happen on daddies. I must be a really slow mum.
God bless the baby and us.

04 May 2011

夢遊

之前那個問題,即是認為哪首歌最表達自己,雖然這問題不是問我,當時我也沒有想過,但突然想起,我竟選了這首歌。


想深一層,最近我已不太是那樣抽離了。在人群中我意會到在人群中,沒有太多的太空漫遊。我像和現實連結起來,可能因此喪失了另一個世界的一部分。那是值得慶幸還是值得懼怕的事情呢?

龍卷風

奧克蘭出現龍卷風,不止卷了大樹、車子、屋頂,也卷走了一條生命。第一次聽到在這麼近的地方有這樣的事情,甚至有朋友要逃走,有朋友就在龍卷風經過的街道的正對面,也有朋友在公司窗口看出去就見到風在不遠處前面經過。

第一次覺得天災可以這樣近,比基督城地震更近。

覺得可怕。

Loving life

I really admire people who love life. Not only their own lives, but other people's lives. They see "life" is a valuable and enjoyable thing. As the name and the lyrics of the song someone has chosen to represent himself: 活著便精彩. I am not saying I don't love life, but I know even now, after all the difficult times, even though I have another life within me, I am not as passionate about life as these people. 127 Hours, a movie that I didn't watch because everyone said it's a bit too much for me at the moment, which I knew the story ages ago from the news when it happened, showed how much a guy loves his life and respect so much the concept of life. Bibi Aisha, who escaped from her country, her people, her family with nose and ears cut off, told people how much she values life with her own action. These are amazing stories, which I admire but know I can never do it. I lack the passion and strength.

一次

如果我們任性一次。

如果我們隨私欲一次。

如果我們不顧後果一次。

如果我們忘記不可以一次。

如果我們放棄抗爭自己一次。

大概甚麼也可以發生。

03 May 2011

生日禮物


小叔送來了綠色小熊給我和孩子,非常可愛,有點詫異他選這個的品味還不俗。

今年不是收到很多生日禮物,但祝福的心意都收到了。令我頗驚喜的是營裡收到的生日哠,許多人也留了幾句,很感動呢。不是客氣的話,真的感到被愛。

至於小王子送了甚麼給我。。。很明顯吧!

大薯


祖祖同阿賢送咗個特大薯頭俾我,內有薯頭一家四口。收到時我諗:「吓,我諗住生一個咋喎!」

兩歲便可玩,我決定等兩年俾個細路玩!

Expression

Women like to talk about their feelings, men like to hide. Not just feelings, but loves and hates, opinions and beliefs, everything relating to the inner mind. Not all women, maybe. Not trying to generalize here.

Why women like to express so much more? I cannot speak for others, but when I think about this myself, I guess it's because we believe if we don't say it then men people won't know and understand. And to women being known and understood are so important because these are things indicating they are being loved.

Men on the other hand, don't mind people not knowing about them nor not understanding them as much. Moreover to them not being known and not being understood has nothing to do with being loved or not. And remember, men usually know they are being loved - they just want to be respected. To be respected, speaking about their feelings and emotions do not help - maybe they even believe the opposites work better.

No conclusion on this, just a thought.

02 May 2011

想找一個怎樣的伴侶,和真正對哪個人心動,許多時沒多大關係。你可以說我不切實際,但我相信帶著一些要求或標準去判定對方是否適合的話,離愛情的感覺非常遙遠。當然,尋找伴侶不等如要談戀愛;愛對方愛家庭也不等如要有心動的感覺。

突然說起這些,因為昨晚和朋友談起這些。

男人哪個不想要一個溫柔體貼的女人;女人哪個不想要一個精神上經濟上也能照顧自己的男人。