假若出走

想過出走。

就是隻字也不留下，走向未踏足的國度，沒有相識的人，拋下工作，也沒有互聯網。出走兩個星期，然後回來見到熟悉的你，然後發現我的思念，然後被焦急的你賞一巴掌，然後我哭起上來，然後你抱著我，然後再也無法遺忘我是如斯的幸福。

用彷彿戲裡的情節，成就我的愛與自由。

要是這樣，你會氣得頂頭冒出瘴氣來吧。

所以我沒有試探你。

而明明途上別了你

據說，這首歌是說一個失戀的故事。

我地去到唔同既地方，但係跟住去到唔同既地方之後，跟住上網，去到第三個唔同既地方呢，都係遇到同一個人。

聽著聽著，非常的感觸。

要去到天涯海角，逃避一個人，逃避一種感覺，逃避一段感情。走到哪裡，看到甚麼，都發現與記憶有所共通之處。上演的電影，喜歡喝的茶，結果也一樣。若我更走到網上的世界，即無論甚麼距離也形同虛設。我們還是在電腦的前端，看著發亮的螢光幕，看著代表對方在線的名字，思索著該不該傳送幾句文字。似是而非，我們都不知道是不是真的看到了對方，若是傳送文字也不知是不是真的被對方接收了，就是閃出了對方的回覆也不能肯定真的有一刻接觸過。

到底是網上的人較真，還是對望著的人較真？

同一個世界

赤地上　到那裡我會沒創傷
東京哭過之後　首爾可會再鋪張
到處也是異地　一切過後別要一樣
偏偏北方的商店為何南面也亮著

赤地上　到那裡也會下雪霜
巴西燒過之後　紐約都有咖啡香
到處也是異地　一切最後亦會一樣
偏偏北方的好戲為何南面也活著

世上　在同一個世上
或只得一種渴想
幾多新酒店　幾次思故鄉
而明明途上別了你

結果也一樣
我要得到那樣　但天天這樣
連邂逅　都會一樣
去到千個晚上
或登進千個網上
而懷疑同樣遇到你

我睡著　到最暗處會沒創傷
天光醒了之後　可以走到最邊疆
到處也是異地　一切最後亦會一樣
幾多幾多的都市為何從沒有異象

世上　在同一個世上
或只得一種渴想
幾多新酒店　幾次思故鄉
而明明途上別了你

結果也一樣
我要得到那樣　但天天這樣
連邂逅　都會一樣
去到千個晚上　或登進千個網上
而懷疑同樣遇到你

結果也一樣
我要得到那樣　但永遠這樣
連缺憾 都會一樣
碰過千個肖像　但不過一套漂亮
誰和誰同樣酷似你

Sweetening

I have been putting less and less sugar in my coffee... is it a good thing, or a bad thing?

So what

I am very very busy recently. Too busy that I have lost interest in everything. Or maybe because I have lost interest in everything, why not make myself busy so I won't find my life's terrible. I have lost interest in people around me. Blog is the thing I use to understand people because I believe people don't lie to their own blog, and they express feeling on blog, and I don't like talking, and they won't talk to me about the things they put on blog anyway. And now I don't even want to read people's blogs. Actually, there is nothing I want to do, civilization IV, cartoons, tv series, books, none of these I really want to do. I am not depress. Not at all. There's nothing happened. I just suddenly feel I am the extra redundant piece. No one really likes me anyway, and I am not even sure I like anything at all. I am not being negative, nor being moody. I still work everyday, go home, do some random stuff, sleep. I don't feel anything abnormal. There's nothing wrong about me and nothing wrong around me. I just realise that all these happening, so what. Death is never a solution for anything, but why compare live and die? they are two different things that can't be compared. Two different forms of existence. So alive is not better than dead, since you can't compare them anyway. Pain is no longer a stopper. Why not make it an appetite instead of an aversion? See the dramas around, what are all these people trying to achieve? Where is reality, why bother if we are uncertain about it? Where is love? Maybe we don't really love anything nor hate anything. Nothing named "fair" nor "justice" nor "equality" in this world. We imagine these concepts hold the world, none of them really work. Maybe all of you, your existence, are in my imagination.