Struggle

What if I can't? And what if I am not willing to? And what if I was never sincere? Maybe I am all evil. What do you want from me? Tell me what I should do.

I am struggling and unhappy. And I cannot let go.

Revulsion

I have been pondering on this for quite a bit of time, and I am still not sure what to do, how to change myself, and in what way I should change to. I mentioned my struggle to a close friend, he said just keep trying to love, no need to force myself. However I just can't make myself easy on this. I do not know why I am feeling so uncomfortable, and I also do not know how I can make myself feel less uncomfortable. I do not even understand whether I am angry or disappointed or disgusted or feeling betrayed or what. It's like a piece of dirty rubbish that I do not want to get close to. On one hand I say it's none of my business, on the other hand I feel so sick about it.

Guess once I am hurt, I am not easy to forgive.

一直掛念

難忘你 竟問起
怎生存才富趣味
往日常兒嬉 說未知
怎麼方算做我的驚喜

情愛滋味
這一個答案太完美
此刻有某事要告知你
從何說起 你已遠在客機

你處身何方 於哪位置
很想講你知 一些最緊要事
是雨是睛白晝與零時 總牽掛住
問誰令我朝想晚思

你可知 時差的最壞處
它可分開世間 可將兩心變異
願每天傳達一聲一語 當中意義
變成最驚喜的句子
令時日也似被停住

從前我 竟自欺
歡欣原來沒儲備
快樂難留起 發現你
可供給最大最多驚喜

你可知 時差的最壞處
它可分開世間 可將兩心變異
願每天傳達一聲一語 當中意義
變成最驚喜的句子

角色扮演

最近嗜打機 - 我這樣說，大概很多人會立刻反駁說我是經常嗜打機的。不過，最近的確是多打了很多，而且還是MMORPG，無論是在電腦還是iPhone。這倒是一個突破，因為我從來不玩MMORPG的。和平常一樣的是特質系的我一定是選法師巫師這類職業，即小王子稱為陰陰濕濕的職業。順帶一提，強化系的小王子一定是選擇體型最大、最似蠻族的角色。即打Street Fighter就一定選Blanka、蘇聯佬等等，總而言之越巨大越醜惡就越喜歡。

奇哉怪哉。明明最要型的又是他。

滿地黃花堆積

好些人看了我的facebook status，都問有甚麼事。其實我自己沒有甚麼事（小小的傷風感冒不算吧），是王子的媽媽啦。母后的病復發，情況不甚好，我們一家都很擔心，王子當然寢食不安，實在是憔悴損。加上現在的天氣，風急雨大，天寒地冷，雖是春分仍偶像深冬；這樣的心情，這樣的氣候，還真的應了《聲聲慢》的意境。

發覺我好像說來說去說了些無相干的話，那是因為我不想在根本的問題上談論太多，無謂騙大家，騙自己，又惹神傷。

In the middle of the night

I am feeling very unsettled at the moment. Cannot find my 布布, not sure where did it go in the middle of the night. Can't turn on the light to find because little prince is sleeping. And, it's raining so hard outside, so hard. So hard that becomes an uncomfortable feeling.

I need to sleep. I am sick, still sick.

Where is my 布布?

Here I pray

Dear Lord, I am not interested in "why", but please teach me "how".

Here I pray, and thanks for everything even for these difficult things we are facing.

Let your love and care flow among us; let us obey and accept your plan. Let me be willing to be patient; let them be peaceful and be content.

Cookie Monster Tutu

Cookie Monster Tutu
Originally uploaded by Cutie Patootie Tutus

I so want a Cookie Monster Tutu! So cute~ Am I too old for these?

Cucurbita, -ae

The Pumpkin ©2009-2010 ~Moose-of-Doom

Just in case you are interested, pumpkin in Latin is Cucurbita, 1st declension, feminine noun.

So to say “You are a pumpkin!” (singular), you can say
“Cucurbita es!”

To say “He is a pumpkin!”, you can say
“Cucurbita est!”

To say “I was a pumpkin.”, you can say
“Cucurbita fui.”

To say “Don’t be a pumpkin!” (to plural), you can say
“Nolite esse cucurbita!”

To say “When I was a pumpkin, he was a mushroom.”, you can say
“Cum cucurbita fuerim, fungus fuit.

… and so on.

Ya, I had watched too much 《開心字典》 at Anshun’s house.

感謝當年的林敏驄和曾志偉。

"You are a pumpkin!"

Today I was studying for tomorrow Latin test. Suddenly I remembered I read a book that talks about how ancient Roman people express rudeness to each other. Nowadays people may use the f-word, and for Hong Kong people there are hundreds of creative sayings to curse each other. Nevertheless in ancient time, one obviously rude thing to do is to call someone a vegetable.

"You are a pumpkin!"
"You are a mushroom!"

These are examples of being rude to somebody. They are rude because they are comparing a person to a plant that can't think - the ancient Romans believed.

Then I remembered Andre told me that one of the worst thing you can say to a Brazilian, is not a swear word, but "Your mum is an Argentinian!" Well, maybe telling some Chinese "Your mum is a Japanese!" would have similar effect.

"You are a pumpkin." Such a nice and intelligent way to insult people, see you do not need any swearing to achieve that.

Since I dislike egg plant more, guess I would say "You are an egg plant!" instead.

香奈兒

突然想起這首歌，非常喜歡這個MV，拍得很好，而且王菲好漂亮。

區雪兒有另一個版本，是一個完全不同意境的MV。王菲一樣漂亮，但我卻不太喜歡這個版本。兩個版本，使這首歌聽起來看起來也很不同。所以呢，不要說MV不會影響一首歌的意境和表達，絕對有千絲萬縷的關係。

After 40 years…

Heard an interesting story today on radio. It’s not one of those important events in the world, nor a unbelievable amazing story… well, to certain extent, this has its unbelievable and important part too. As a hopeless romantic, I love this story.

Thanks to the people who enable this kind of romanticism to happen on this world. You know, we surely need them on this boring, cold, dull planet.

 

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10673541

NZ man's treasured ring resurfaces after 40 years
By Jocelyn Muir
5:30 AM Wednesday Sep 15, 2010

---

A Wellington man who lost a ring 40 years ago in an American lake has had news that his treasured possession has been found.

Two self-proclaimed treasure hunters found the ring at Lakeside Beach, at Port Huron in Michigan, and have spent the past 10 years trying to reunite the ring with its owner, American Stephen Pike, who moved to New Zealand in 2004.

Mr Pike said yesterday that his Chelmsford High School class ring was lost when it slipped off his then-girlfriend's finger while the pair were swimming in 1970.

"I dove looking for it but couldn't see anything in the water," said Mr Pike. They continued searching for hours, but finally gave up "broken-hearted".

Thirty years later, Harold and Linda Mitchell happened to be swimming in the same spot and caught a glimpse of the ring shining beneath them.

"We were in deeper water and I could see the ring sitting on top of the sand," Mr Mitchell told the Chelmsford Mass News. "I guess a storm had kicked up and it was laying on the bottom in about 10 feet of water.

It was in great shape."

The couple, who spend time scouring the waterways of southeast Michigan with underwater metal detectors, were keen to reunite the ring with its owner.

"This one was a real challenge," said Mr Mitchell. "It bugged me that I couldn't find its owner."

Ten years of searching, using online social networking sites, finally paid off when he tracked down Mr Pike.

"I always said I'd go to the end of the world to return this," said Mr Mitchell. "I guess I did."

Mr Pike said getting the email to say his ring had been found 40 years later was "pretty incredible".

"It's nice for this piece of life to come back around and complete itself and it's nice to see a perfect stranger doing an act of kindness."

Despite lying on the lake floor for 30 years, the ring "looks straight out of the box", said Mr Pike.

The Mitchells say reuniting people with lost possessions gives them a sense of accomplishment and joy. They did not want a reward from Mr Pike but requested that he share the story.

Guided by the ring's markings, the Mitchells tracked down the high school's class of 1970 reunion committee through the alumni association website and emailed organiser Wendy Marshall-Hudzik.

Ms Marshall-Hudzik found out there were only two students from 1970 with the initials SP, which were marked on the ring.

She remembered that Mr Pike had mentioned on the online site Classmates.com that he had once lived in Port Huron. She found a yearbook photo of him in the wrestling team and found a team member.

"He, by chance, knew someone who knew someone who had my email," said Mr Pike.

By Jocelyn Muir

白化

 

每星期日到教會前，小王子和我會去買杯咖啡。時間許可的話，就會坐下來飲。最多談的話題總是圍繞著影相，有時也會拿我的小相機出來玩玩。然而小王子不喜歡影portrait，我唯有襯他說起光源時以「示範給我看」為由，騙他給我拍個照片。

這天我穿著自己畫的上衣，就是之前在這裡展示那件。

是白色的。

順便看一看這blog，設計也「白化」了。記得一直是黑色的嗎？

我想我開始適應白色，如果你明白我想說甚麼。

邊吃邊嚷

一邊吃著Pringles薯片，一邊計卡路里嚷著要減肥，我還是這麼的可惡，不值得可憐。最近沒甚麼衝勁，可能是吃不夠零食。

說著說著，已經吃完了。

終於拿了人生第一張credit card。其實也沒甚麼特別用途，只是有時要在網上買東西會方便些，也可以用自己的credit card交學費了。一向未試過在網上買甚麼的我也要向現實低頭啦。。。

Creativity cont…

After I have modified my iPhone bag to something less look like a scrub (STEVO!!!!!), I moved on and made a bigger bag for my wallet, phone and stuff. If you see me often, you probably know that I carry a bag of this kind around all the time. So on Saturday, after I had done my difficult* assignment, I went home and made this bag. Yes! Manually sewing everything again, including a zip! Never sew a zip in my life before. I have to admit that I was doing pretty bad in Home Economics classes when I was in SSGC.

So proud of myself. Good girl, kiu kiu, good girl, good job, you are the best!

Creativity

Today I have been very creative. First I sewed an iPhone bag for my iPhone, ya, no sewing machine, I sewed with my hands:

Then I painted on a t-shirt I bought, both on the front and the back:

Well, but I have to work on my assignment tomorrow, which is due Monday, and I have not started… and I have a test on the coming Friday. So BRB, creativity, tomorrow is going to be a hard working Saturday.

奢侈品

終於好過份的買了iPhone 4。最大的掙扎是我不喜歡touch screen電話，只是小王子說若我要買新的iPod touch，不如買iPhone。思前想後，結果就買了回家。銀行乾了，等廿號出糧救命。

這是我第一篇用iPhone打的網誌啦。

去睡了。

My apron

My first time paint on fabric, and I have chosen to paint an apron for myself. So I can wear this to do more painting in the future.

When I was up in the air...