拍賣

今天去了樓宇拍賣會，買不到我想要那間房子，也不緊要，反正我是不急的，又不是沒地方住，又不是真的很想搬。

從未去過樓宇拍賣，這是第一次。去的途中我想起了唯一的拍賣經驗，那就是荔園的拍賣。「一蚊底價」，總是吸引了不少大小朋友，好不熱鬧。賣的有玩具，也有家電，爸爸和孩子都喜歡。

今天的拍賣雖然人多，卻沒有荔園那種氣氛呢。。。

Tiredness

Feeling exhausted... No nothing special had happened today, but I am just feeling very tired. When one is tired, everything seems to be hard. Caelum was being a difficult boy tonight as well.

Tiredness is causing my mood go down hill. Let me sleep for an hour before 11pm, when I have to wake up and feed the boy.

Tu

De eo cogito. Nunc nihil me finire potest est. Eum videre volo. Animus tui esse cum me etiamsi corpus tui non est.

Mala sum.

XVI之解說

本來XVI有下一半故事，以「我每天往這間咖啡店買一杯可可」開始。然後序述當事人怎樣選擇、跟蹤並研究每一次的目標人物，到最後拿到目標的漂亮的眼球為止。可可使他放心，繼而進行當天的計劃。

想了一下，為免有人以為我變態，打消了這個念頭。

就當是浪漫的憧憬好了。

無題 XVI

每天早上他都會來買一杯可可，我總會假裝若無其事的親自把可可遞給他，而他謝了接過後總會在踏出門前呷一口。我每天看著他步出店外的身型，回味那一句謝謝，猜想他下一刻往何處。

不喝咖啡喝可可的男人不多，雖說因為這而喜歡上他好像在點膚淺，但實在要承認和喝可可脫不了干係。

手上沒有戒指，大概未結婚？每個早上也來，大概是很有規律的人？到咖啡店不怕奇怪的要可可，大概是有點孩子氣吧？沒有穿西裝，大概不是寫字樓的工作？幾條牛仔褲都穿舊了，大概是不太喜歡改變的人？頭髮凌亂，大概性格有點散漫？從來未見過他帶太陽眼鏡，大概是誠實的人？雙手拿可可杯喝，大概有點神經質呢？

我每天留意他多一點，想著他是怎樣的人。想著想著，就喜歡上了。

想起廣川

到底不太認識一個人的話可不可以算得上「喜歡」？不可以的話那要有多認識才可以呢？每次想到類似的問題，我也不其然想起但丁和庇亞翠絲。那當然是一個非常極端的例子。

這一次我想得更遠，從但丁想到了廣川先生。這麼多年，廣川先生說西原的話還是敲擊著我的心，依然叫我慚愧。我竟是那樣的不長進。

三蒲綾子真是我的偶像。

Amor

Had a conversation with a dude the other day, suddenly, out of a boring work day, I pondered on several things again, and talked to Stephan(ie) about some.

Relationship is a hard eh. You fall in love, you break up, then you have to either move on or stay heart broken. Who is “the one”? Or there can be ones? Is “the one” a changeable factor? So you move on, you find another one to be “the one”. Actually, I don’t believe there is one and only one. The more I live and see on this world, the more I realise there is more than one person in the world could fit you. There’s more than one person in the world you can develop relationship with and fall in love with each other.

Would there be people you know definitely it’s a “no”? Ya… I have to agree with this one. Actually, versa vice, there are people you would know it’s a definite “yes”. Doesn't mean it will work out for sure, and doesn’t mean you fall in love in first sight, yes you know it’s a “yes” if one party has decided to make a move. There are people, no matter how long they know each other, no spark at all; but there are people, always, have something between them, that is too obvious to ignore. Sometimes, a definite “yes” is a problem too.

See love is a difficult issue.

No wonder guys around me keep saying there’s no point for them to find a girlfriend. They can do more when they are single, like spending money, cooking (alright this is just one guy), get drunk… although I think part of these sayings is because they do not have someone. :P

Oh well.

The laughing boy

Caelum is a happy boy… most of the time. Sometimes he cries too, but in general he’s happy. Now he knows how to laugh although he does not do that very often. So cute. I have watched these so many times already, haha, stupid mama.

龍年始

農曆新年。Caelum仔在公公婆婆處拿到了利是。對我們來說農曆新年只是平常的一天，沒有假，繼續上班，也不會有甚麼新年氣氛。只是呢，天氣這麼的好，我竟要在這裡上班，有點意難平呢，哈哈。

龍年，許多人都想生龍仔龍女，雖然我不知道為甚麼。我這裡有隻兔仔了。。。看他肖兔尚且這麼惡，要是肖龍還不欺負我更甚！還好。其實我屬狗，在家裡該是最惡的了。就如我跟小王子說，Caelum不可以是小霸王，因為他娘親才可以是小霸王，呵呵。

Caelum的第一個新年，還未懂作「恭喜」的手勢，下年吧。

0067

00 and 67 got married last night. So we said now "3 down (me, May, Annie), 3 to go (Hilda, Gigi, Johnny)".

It was a good day although weather was bad. I brought Caelum to the bride's home in the morning. So he had participated in the event. Then I sent him to my parents place because the dinner would be too late for him. Caelum enjoyed the morning with all these beautiful bridesmaids and sisters, smiled to everyone who came to talk to him.

Annie was very pretty. Well the bride is always the prettiest on the wedding day. I do not know Richard well because he's mostly in Fiji and they met in University. During University Gigi and Annie have their commerce etc friend circles that Hilda and I not very close with. Hilda probably knows them better as she's Annie's cousin and they do hang out sometimes.

It's good. Its good. Brought back so much memories. Ah the old days.

失戀了無謂痴情

A和B分了手，長達十二年的感情就這樣完結，算不上是和平，因為一方還是不能接受。

這次真的是結束了。

最近有好些人也墮入這樣的慣性，和多年的情人分手。無論是說分手還是被拋棄的一方，有些很爽快的找到了別人，短期內談婚論嫁。或者經歷了一段很長的關係，反而發現在一起許久才結婚不是一件好事，又或者比較清楚自己想要的是甚麼了。到我們這個年紀，已不能隨隨便便為愛情而拍拖吧？

不期然我想起了另外三個人。直到現在我還是不知道該怎樣看待整件事情，也不知道該怎樣處理和這些人的關係。如果甚麼都和我沒關係倒好，偏偏卻是千絲萬縷，還要是永遠逃不掉的糾纏。

我總是那樣放不開的。

多想有人告訴我該怎樣想才好。

即使衷心相愛結局不要問
即使他一走了再無人想吻
就當早生百年 他哪曾識你
你會很甘心

即使將他封最愛亦不要恨
一般都得不到
正如亦舒說 做到生子結婚
終須都與較平凡那位至會襯

現實還是公平 太耀眼激情 亦如即興
下個季節 轉心境 得到了原是虛榮
求他採星星都答應 但誰保證
難受為了太好勝

失戀可將工作放大得決絕
光陰怎花可看見
林夕都說 別怨心底滴血
專心工作過勞才有資格吐血

他走了解封了 得到了某些損失某些總要
試驗難得的寂寥 未必天天要燃燒

殘酷現實還是公平 太耀眼激情 亦如即興
下個季節 轉心境
失戀了無謂痴情
人開心傷心講慣性 若憑悟性
定能夠有 更高的戀愛本領

現實還是公平 有他約定見證
便會害怕失約的震驚
他不愛沒法講情
和他講分手不掃興 換來尊敬
未圓滿愛情也雋永