Also thought about little prince's family. Maybe that's why I always say his family is his family, I am an outsider. Maybe it's not the case that they think I am an outsider, but instead, I see our differences, and I think they won't accept me, they won't love me as much as if I am the same as them, so I make myself the outsider, make myself don't care whether they think I am a family member or not, and then think they treat me like an outsider, and so because they don't understand me, it ends up I am like an outsider. So it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Not just family, but friends, people... maybe all similar story.
From talking to Candy, I started to figure out a way to change... but I guess, it's something that requires some time.
Why and when did I start off these defensive routine, at the end we didn't find it out. However, I guess it's okay. The cause is not that important given I know what I can do to change it, to get out of it.
Hope I will become a good girl one day.
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