Reality kicks in

Finally, I feel it more real, when he finally cried in front of me. I always need the trigger. Still in my head figuring out all the emotions, the words that describe the feelings.

It's such a difficult thing, I mean this whole thing that he has to face. How can I make it easier for him? I don't know, and for some how I do not believe there is any way to make it easier. Deep inside I do not think anyone should make this easier too because it is meant to be a difficult thing.

Yet I am there to sort out the logistics for him, e.g. Plane, time off, clothing, other people's concerns etc. Someone has to do it. No point for everyone crying and sitting there without sorting the necessities out. So I will do this for him, for them.