A lot of people worry about eating this and that for health safety, while I am a bit worry about stop "eating" Citalopram. I have stopped this for a few weeks already and up to now I think I am fine. Few weeks ago I stopped merely because I couldn't find the meds, then GP told me to stop when I received a confirmation. Although Dr. J said it's safe, I still didn't continue.
Read other people's experiences online, many have to start taking them again because they cannot fight the monster themselves. I am a little bit worry, but honestly not too much. I am not saying I am better, but I think I have transformed.
I think the changes I had experienced were deep down in the soul and thoughts, ergo I have been doing alright in the past few months. I believe it wasn't the Citalopram's job anymore in the later times. I am truly a happier and positive thinking girl now. It's true that occasionally I feel troubled and not wanting to deal with something, but I believe every normal single person faces similar thing from day to day. The key is the way to solve it, to see it, even just put it aside for a short while.
"And you can see people love you right?" I keep doing this self-check. I know if one day again I started to feel people don't love me and rather I didn't exist, then it would be the sign of things are going out of control again. Up till now I think I am fine, I know I am loved and accepted. People around care and happy and worry and sad for me truthfully, not just being polite externally.
Last night I was with a big group of people again. I feel 100% comfortable and I am pretty sure I know myself is part of them. There was nothing wrong with my existence. I was like everyone else. There was no separation and division. And I was happy, truly, not empty inside but act happy outside. I can feel that I am a normal person, so this is me.
I think Candy has done a really good job here.
Thank God for transformed and keep transforming me.
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