Imaginary Friend (3)

This is the first time I realised that imaginary friend or imaginary companion is not a common phenomenon. I was truly surprised. I thought it's common, so I said I thought most people had imaginary friends when they were young. Then people around told me that is not the case, except Nixon, who said he had imaginary friend when he was a child as well. I was so shocked, and felt a bit embarrassed because I seemed to be the minority.

The more tricky bit is, I always have imaginary friend(s) and I am quite clear about my current imaginary friend. I often talk to and get advises from him. In the process of discussing or debating with him, I change my perspectives and get more understanding, and ultimately may compromise my own conflicts and be comforted.

I wanted to say "I clearly know he is not real", but this is a little bit tricky too. He is based on a real person. His face, his basic characteristics. However I probably added all sorts of imagination around his personality. Things that my imaginary friend said are only things that my imaginary friend would say. It has nothing to do with the real person. The only thing I have stolen were the face and basic personality characteristics. The tricky part happens when I am facing the real person, sometimes my impressions are confused. I forgot what parts of the personality were added by myself, so I don't know what to expect from the real person.

Another thing I found when I inspected myself is I do a lot of self-talk. Previously I thought it is okay to talk to oneself, actually, nearly everybody does talk to themselves sometimes at some stage. It's all about the quantity and frequency and the way intrapersonal communication take place and what is the content and when it take place...etc. Now I am a bit uncertain how normal I am in this aspect. Is it okay if I tell you that I am talking to myself all the time, actually, continuously, except when I am talking to other people, or my imaginary friend? Is it okay? Is it what everyone else is doing as well?